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Last Updated:
Saturday, 21 February, 2004, 18:37 GMT
Jordan has moustache implant for boyfriend
After merciless bullying by her new pet, Peter Andre, Jordan has undergone cosmetic surgery to enhance her already huge moustache
Analysis: How real does it feel?
How the moustache was made
Can her upper lip support it?
MI5 snatches Ainsley Harriot
The security forces have captured the radical militant chef after a fierce gun battle. He will be held for 'robust questioning' on his terror links
New police big cat initiative
Plans to give police leopards instead of dogs were greeted with alarm. 'They're easy to train and hard as nails' said a spokesman today
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Mugabe celebrates with Skol lager
Australia reef's moved to Wales
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Clarkson caught wanking chimp in zoo horror
Arsenal grow parsnips behind goal
Rugby: Scotland vs entire planet
Tennis: Henman buries victims
Football: Elton John scores winner
10 things
Hedges, brylcreem, batteries, coal, beards, pegs, duster, chimney, cardboard and tar
Hectic hog
Sonic's txt secrets "**** my ring, u spin me right round, u found my secret ****"
You're too old
Pundits question the logic of Chelsea's latest multi-million pound geriatric player
AROUND THE WORLD NOW
AFRICA
Fire destroys Paul Daniels effigy
ASIA-PACIFIC
Anthrax jab for rowdy youngsters
AMERICAS
Schwarzenegger fights horses
EUROPE
Thousands queue for fig-roll freebie
MIDDLE EAST
Israel sticker album plan fails
SOUTH ASIA
Scientist 'sent postcard to Libya'
AROUND THE UK NOW
ENGLAND
Call for less townie scum in city centres
NORTHERN IRELAND
Paramilitaries 5-aside football game ends in bloodshed
SCOTLAND
Fresh drive to combat the English
WALES
Inquiry into Clogs and daffodils unearths 'treasure trove'
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TECHNOLOGY
Time runs more slowly in train station waiting rooms
ENTERTAINMENT
UK movie productions 'all rubbish'
HAVE YOUR SAY
MMR jab: Extreme jabbing - man has 5 jabs in ear lobe
Divided onion
World court prepares for outrage over Israeli plans to cut vegetable
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